The First One

I bought a car recently. I love it. It is the car I've been dreaming of owning for years. It has every feature I could have ever wanted. It is the car I've in which I've pictured myself driving down the Pacific Coast Highway, through New England leaf-strewn byways, along deserted stretches of dark roads. Of course, during those daydreams I also have a kick-ass wardrobe, weigh 40 lbs. less and end up getting into a collision with Damien Lewis from Band of Brothers, who is out for a drive to get over his recent break-up. You know, those daydreams.

So, after soul-searching and checkbook balancing, I buy the car. It is "lightly used" as they say in the trade. I get a Car Fax report. It comes up clean. Perfect. No problems.

Except, yeah. Not so much.

I take the car to the carwash and a plastic piece flies off. Then the wind starts to whistle around the windows. Turns out, there was a roll-over accident. The car has a totally new roof. And windshield. And various other pieces and parts. So much for perfect. Plus, when I turn on the defroster, tiny pieces of shattered glass fly up out of the vents and onto the dashboard. Those driving goggles aren't just for show.

So I'm thinking about this car that turned out to be not so perfect. And I'm realizing that the car is much like a number of people I've met over the past few years. They seem really...normal...at first. Rational. Intelligent. No damage upon first inspection. But then, well, the glass starts flying out of the vents.

I've decided we need some sort of People Fax system. Not those websites where you can write in about all the issues you had with your ex-boyfriend and telling all women why they should stay away from him. But a real, objective listing of previous damages incurred by that particular model: The bad divorce. The child custody battle. The drug/alcohol/sex/porn/videogame addiction. The overprotective mother and absent father. Or the alcoholic father and enabling mother. The cheating ex. The needy ex. The sleezy, skeezy, I-still-want-to-get-in-his-pants ex. The lack of ambition. The lack of responsibility. The lack of common sense. The lack of any sense.

When I proposed this system to a friend, he asked me if I didn't think that would cut any potential relationship short. Why bother even getting to know someone if you know going into it that their issues are going to overwhelm any ties you might form? And really, wouldn't that be true for all relationships, both platonic and romantic?

But I don't think so. Because we all have issues. Some of my best, most interesting, most educational, wonderful and entertaining relationships were with some seriously flawed people. We're all flawed. Those flaws don't always doom a relationship. Sometimes those flaws open us up for new possibilities.

I mean, I still love the car. I just wish I'd known to invest in the goggles earlier.