...Miss Head, if You're Nasty

Thursday, October 26, 2006

2:11

What the hell time is it? Oh, of course, 2 in the a.m. What other time would it be? What other time do I wake up every single night of the week? Unless I take Nyquil. And the last time I did that, I slept through the alarm because I changed the radio station to listen to the Tigers.

The Tigers. Did they get to play? Do I care enough to get up and turn on ESPN?

That Michael Rappaport show...I used to like him so much. Then, on that show with what's-his-face...the guy who did Elf? Yeah, such a jackass in real life. Can't even hold a fork. Couldn't take him home to Mom. So glad Lost was on. Pretty, pretty Sawyer. Couldn't really take him home to Mom, either.

Did the phone ring? Did that wake me up? Is it even plugged in? I don't think I ever plugged it back in after that...you know, that thing. Did I bring up the cell? Oh, yeah, no. I turned it off, even. Should I go get it? Turn it on? Nope. Bad idea. Close your eyes and think of England. Do not touch the phone.

Why, hello Cat. Yes, I can see that your nose is still really wet and cold. No, I'm not going to go feed you. I don't really get up yet. I just lay here and obsess about things for a while, then fall back to sleep for a few minutes before the alarm goes off. You know the drill. Go away. Away. Go away. Go. Go. No. Over there. Gooooo aawwaaaayyy.

The alarm is set, right?

Yes. All set. Right? The light is lit. Does that mean set or not? Dammit...

Yeah, I don't feel so good. Why is my stomach upset? What did I eat today? Cheese and crackers. A pretzle. And popcorn. Gee, I can't imagine why I don't feel well. I'd better have an apple in the morning. Or...just soon.

That thing earlier was wierd. Was that what I thought it was? Two words: Awk. Ward. What the hell am I going to do about that?

And the other? If I start thinking about that, I'll never get to sleep. No, don't go get the phone. I'm sure there's no message. Just...step away from the ledge there, missy.

So...Halloween. Yeah. Gotta get a costume for Saturday. I told them I'd go to the party. I should see if Mom still has my prom dress. Ha. That in and of itself would be scary. Then I could bust out the curling iron. Maybe some fingerless gloves and a tiara. Good times.

Whatever. I think I still have that witch's costume somewhere.

Do you think Steve and Jocelyn are really keeping score between me and Brady?

Gaaahhh, what time is it? Is there anything good on tv at this hour? I wonder if they're still playing Halloween movies on AMC?

Yes, Cat, I'm still awake. Go away. Go away. Goawaygoawaygoaway.

Did you see their faces tonight when I said I had 50 cats? Heeeee! But also, sad. Because I think they believed me for a while--more than a second, anyway. What the hell does that say about me?

Oh, I have to write something for the thing tomorrow. Hmmmm. Good stories, good stories. What's a good story? The wall of shame from college? The out-of-town dump? The trip to Mexico? The guy who told me I looked like Sandra Bullock? I miss him. The real reason I went to school out east? The other...oh no. I'm not gonna be That Girl. You know...the one who writes about...yeah, no.

Remember to call Mom tomorrow. And set up dinner plans before the open house. And be at work early for the meeting. And eat an apple. Do I have anything on my schedule? And where am I going Friday? I'm going somewhere. Do I need gas?

I really don't feel well. Do I have a fever? I'm hot. I'm sweating. What is wrong with me? Is there something going around? West Nile? My throat doesn't hurt. Just my stomach. And I'm so hot. What...is the electric blanket still on? Oh. And I'm taking off this sweatshirt...okay. That's better.

I'm wearing that skirt tomorrow. And the turtleneck, I think. Maybe Steve will ask me if I'm a lesbian again.

Did I turn down the thermostat? Do I care enough to go check? Not so much.

Cat? Where are you? Come keep me company.

1 Comments:

  • That was really funny, I actually did the classic stare at my computer and laugh out loud like a retard. And yes Steve and I do keep a running total - and you are falling behind, think about that tommorow morning :)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:11 AM  

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