Nostril-itis

I hate winter. Really. With every fiber of my being. Or fibre, if you prefer.

Snow is pretty to look at. For about a day. I can't deny the romance of walking through a snowy night, crystals crunching under your feet. The absolute silence blanketing the world. The hint of blue that lies over everything as the moon glances off the frozen crust of snow. Crawling into bed, warming the sheets while looking out a frosted window.

Then you have to get up and drive to work the next day. And that? Sucks.

I hate running the heater. I hate the fact that my gas bill increases times 7. I hate cleaning off my car. I hate salt ruining my shoes and getting on the back of my coat when I walk through parking lots. I hate that people still can't drive in snow. I hate the dirty snow that collects on the side of the road. And I hate getting out of bed in the morning.

I do like kicking that snowy, salty, grey crap off the wheel wells of my car, though. I do like that.

The heaters really bother me. Don't get me wrong. I like being warm. I have a space heater in my office because my secretary is going through "the change" and she could break out into a swimming sweat at any moment. So we all suffer.

But the dry air and the static electricity? I hate it. My lips are chapped, my hair flies everywhere, my nails chip. And my nose is a mess.

I have sinus problems. I have allergies. I blow my nose constantly. I have to use Puffs with Aloe...God bless Puffs. Because if I didn't? My nose would have been worn away by facial tissue years ago. My nose ran so much as a kid that I had a permanent line across it from where I'd push my hand up against my face to swipe my runny nose. Neat, huh?

In the winter, it gets worse by the hour. The heat sucks all the moisture out of the air. It isn't better outside, unless we're going through a periodic thaw. And who wants to be outside for that?

So my nose runs. But is also dried out. Oh, the dichotomy of it all.

The inside of my nose right now? You know how you put mud masks on your face? And it dries? And before you rinse it off, you smile to watch the mask crack? That's the inside of my nose right now.

I have two permanent problem areas that will not heal. In the left nostril, it is right where the nose meets the face, just inside the nasal canal there. If you put your finger juuuuuusssst under your nose? Then move it up? Just inside. Not to look like you're picking or anything. 'Cause you're not. But that's where it is. The starting of a fissure. Like hemerroids for the nose.

The other nostril has one, too. Longerstanding in nature, even. This one's on the septum. The thing that separates one nostril from the other. There's a line, a crevass, that has split open and seeths. Right there. Just inside the nostril.

Go ahead. Feel around in there. You know you want to.

So I'm reduced to sticking fingers full of vaseline up my nose in an effort to soften up the skin enough to reduce the pain. In order to endure the actual blowing of the nose. Because, right now, it hurts too much to blow. I'm reduced to sticking corners of kleenex up there, just to ensure that I can breathe.

Spring can't come fast enough.