Going for the Gold

I'm dressing as Sarah Palin for Halloween.

I've had some good costumes in my day, but I'm hoping to win an award with this one. I know most of the big sites are mocking the selection as hopelessly overdone, but I have some touches that I think make this costume special:

I have buttons. GOP buttons. A pink elephant with "Sarah!" underneath. Another with her name, a set of lips and a high heeled shoe. And one with her and McCain with "Brothers in Heaven Forever." Okay, maybe it doesn't say that.

I've got snow boots. I was going to wear a puffy coat but thought it would be too hot.

I've got a suit. It isn't from Neiman Marcus. Nor is it from a consignment shop in Anchorage. Nor does it include a red leather jacket. But it'll do.

I have a brown beehive wig.

I have glasses.

I may have a weapon.

I may also have pelts. I thought about a fur coat but thought it would be too hot.

I have a plethora of pithy statements. "You betcha!" "Kin I call you Joe?" "You know what the difference..." You get the picture.

But the party I'm going to has a theme. Astronauts and Aliens. So I have some antennae I'll be wearing.

Or else I'll wander around all night, mocking the idea of astronauts as a liberal media fallacy constructed to leech money from people's paychecks. SOCIALISM!!!

It might not beat the roller derby costume, but it will come close.