Things I Learned (and Relearned) This Weekend

That turkey is overrated.

That even four days off in a row still isn't enough.

That sometimes people you think are your friends aren't.

That I shouldn't be allowed to have a cell phone.

That I deserve more.

That drinking wine at 3 a.m. is rarely a good idea.

That, even though I spend most of my work day and a lot of my free time with men, I still cannot, for the life of me, figure out what the hell they are all about.

That you should read a recipe all the way through before you make it.

That just because someone says they are going to call doesn't mean they will.

That cool tile feels really good on your face, even as late as six o'clock in the evening.

That leading more than one life is rather exhausting.

That I'm too old for this crap.

That I'm not too old to want to get into a bar fight.

That I am right on the brink of crawling into a figurative hole for the next six months so I don't have to speak to anyone about anything ever.

That you can golf in November, but probably not well.

That the horror of having no ibuprofen in the house cannot be overstated.