A Public Service Announcement

Picture it, if you will. A table full of beer drinkers, out for their weekly social get-together. It is January, north of the Mason-Dixon line. Even unseasonable warmth requires coats and scarfs, just fewer layers.

A woman approaches. Older than most of those at the table. She pulls up a chair. Across from her sit three unsuspecting observers. She takes off her coat. She sits down.

"Oh my God," says one woman, looking at her friend.
"What the hell," says the friend, putting a hand to her mouth.
They turn to look at the guy sitting next to them.
"I...I don't know what to say," he says.
"Can't you do something?" asks the first woman. "Can't you...give her a shirt? Write her a citation? Something?"
"I realize I'm not in the best shape of my life..." the man starts.
"But WE DON'T DRESS LIKE THAT!!!" the friend whisper-screams. "Seriously? I cannot even look at her."

So, let this be a lesson to us all. If you are over 40 years old, chances are good that you should not, under any circumstances, wear a tight-fitting crop-top Everlast t-shirt to the bar, sit down and slump over, thereby causing all of the skin on your stomach to fold into what could best be described as pleats.

Especially in January.