Pets & Peeves

Do not, I repeat, do not say you are going to call me and then not call me. I hate it. I hate it when you do that and it makes me hate you a little.

I can see it if we're just chatting about stuff. About Anna Nicole or the underwear you saw on sale at Macy's or the guy that just got arrested for tying up his gay lover at the local cine-mini. You don't have to call back immediately after taking that call on the other line from your crazy mother who just had surgery and can you go over there and rub her feet because they hurt and she can't bend over far enough to reach them. That's okay. I get that.

However, if we have a plan? Like, to go somewhere? And do something? That day? Don't say you're going to call and then don't. I don't care about your project. I don't care about the call you got from the office. I don't care about your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your husband or your wife or your dog or your child or your minister or the fact that you just got too drunk to do anything other than sit on a barstool for the remainder of the afternoon.

Call me and tell me why you: a) cannot do the thing we planned to do; b) will be late doing the thing we planned to do; c) are an idiot and forgot about the thing we planned to do but can we please reschedule? Do not just not call.

Because if you don't call? If you fail to give me some kind of excuse within what I deem to be a reasonable period of time? I will hold it against you. Forever. I will always remember that you are untrustworthy. That you make promises that you cannot keep. That you are unreliable. And I will not make plans with you. And I will blow you off, both in order to teach you a lesson and because, really, I don't find you worth my time.