Questions

Who are you people? Where do you come from? Do you live under a rock? Do you have no sense of common decency? Were you raised by wolves in a far Romanian forest, forced to eat raw meat and drink stagnant water? Are you not literate? Can you not function in modern-day society? Can you not interpret the international signal language, which tells us which bathroom is which and things not to do in public? Have you been imprisoned in an Austrian man's basement, forced to have sex with him and have his children for the past eighteen years and, as a result, remain ignorant of common social mores of the twenty-first century?

Does someone really have to sit down and tell you NOT TO TALK ON YOUR CELLPHONE DURING THE FIRST SHOT WE SEE OF IRON MAN FLYING AROUND LOS ANGELES, all of which I missed because I was so overcome with hate and anger directed toward you at such a degree I'm surprised you didn't immediately burst into flames and disintegrate?

And why do you always have to come sit next to me?