Living Dolls

There's something a little strange about women gymnasts, don't you think?

I mean, they're amazing. They are incredibly fit. They do things with their bodies that are absolutely outrageous. They work through incredible pain. They make the miraculous seem mundane. And they do it all with hairpins and hairspray and body glitter and bad blue eyeliner. Thank God they seem to have moved past that look this year.

I mean no disrespect to gymnasts. They are my second-favorite event to watch during the Olympics. And swimming was always my favorite--even before Phelps Mania swept the land. I love the floor routine and the uneven parallel bars are stunning to watch.

But I always get a feeling that I'm watching...I don't know. Animatronic dolls. And it is only the women that I feel this way about. I mean, when they win, they smile. When they lose, they smile. And they hug each other after every routine. And those hugs? They give me the chills.

I know the hugs are supposed to represent good sportsmanship. I know they are supposed to demonstrate that we are higher beings that can put things behind us. That we can be happy with someone else's accomplishments even while mourning our own failures. Or can comfort someone while exulting in our success.

But those hugs are creepy.

There is absolutely no feeling there. The gesture that should seem really warm? Seems cold. It should seem caring. It looks fake. If those hugs were people? They would be the popular middle school girls who look at you like dirt but smile at you when adults are present. The ones who are only nice to you for long enough to get you to switch lockers with them, so they can have one in the cool hallway, while you are regulated to the back hall by the gym.

When you watch male gymnasts? They hug with gusto. Swimmers? They really have to mean it to swim under the lane ropes after an 800 meter race and embrace a competitor. May-Treanor and Walsh could set up their own school to teach people how to celebrate a win with appropriate vigor, although I suspect men would only attend if the teachers continued wearing those white bikini suits.

We watch the Olympics to see the competition. Absolutely. But we also watch to see the human story. To see the excitement and joy, as well as the sorrow and disappointment. When we watch women's gymnastics, it seems like we miss a part of that. And, while I know these girls are drilled on looking good for the cameras, I wish they were also allowed to be just a bit more human.