Wednesday

I'm having a bad day. From my previous post, that may be obvious. I've got seasonal bloody-nose-itis, where every time I blow my nose, it starts to bleed. And it hurts. And so I blow my nose. Then my nose bleeds.

I don't like anything in my fridge. I don't want to eat anything but french fries and onion rings. And pizza. From Papa John's. With garlic butter. That I won't buy because the last time I did, it leaked all over my car and I smelled like garlic for days.

I feel fat. Objectively, I know I can't have possibly gained ten pounds overnight. However, my pants feel like I may have. And I tend to listen to the pants.

I got all dressed up today, thinking I was going to want to go out after work, that I'd be hanging out with friends, that I might play hookey from work for a bit. Now, I don't even want to talk to anyone, much less sit with them in a smokey bar drinking beer that I shouldn't be buying. Much less buying rounds. Because I'm broke.

I'm getting myself into personal messes that I should know better than to get into, situations I should avoid, textbook "I'm a stupid girl" fact patterns. Situations so stupid that, if I listened to myself as I described them, I'd slap myself.

I'm avoiding projects at work, hoping that, if I ignore them long enough, they'll just go away.

I tried to make scones last night, and once I had everything prepped, I realized I had no flour. So I threw a half a stick of butter into the garbage disposal and went to bed.

I've fallen asleep before 9 p.m. every night this week. And I'm tired all day.

I'm feeling ignored and sad and depressed.

Maybe I have black mold in my house.