Know-It-All
I have a paralyzing fear of looking dumb. I cannot, for one second, look like I don't know what I'm doing. Unless it involves hooking rugs, plaster of paris or die with more than six sides.
I think I can trace this back to elementary school. You know, they tell you there is no such thing as a stupid question. That's a lie. Anyone who has ever sat in a classroom longer than an hour knows that is a vicious, festering lie. The third time someone asks for a repeat of the rules of a game? Stupid question. Someone asking what time recess is, more than once? Stupid question. They start early. They get worse, the older you get.
So you stop asking questions. Because you don't want to look like the person you make fun of...the person asking the stupid question. Then you become the person who has all the answers. You become the information person...the one who tells people the answers to their questions. And when you don't know the answer? You make one up.
I once told someone that, absolutely, dinosaurs lived at the same time as people. This, despite being about 6 years old and having no idea of any historical support for such a position. Why did I say this? Because I watched The Flintstones. God forbid I just answer, "I don't know."
"I don't know." It is hard to say. It is easier to say, "I'll find that out for you." But that still contains a tacit admission that you don't know what the hell is going on, what the answer might be. In fact, with an answer like that, you might not even really understand what the heck the question is even about.
Now I work in a job where looking like you know what you're doing is not only required, it is demanded. If you don't have that aura of knowledge, you are dead in the water. With a big pool of blood floating around you. To attract the sharks.
I wish I'd taken another road when I was younger. I wish I'd learned to say, "I don't know," more often. I wish I'd been able to allow myself to look at something with wonder and amazement, rather than with dry-eyed cynicism. If I had, I might be somewhere totally different. And be somewhere totally different.
I think I can trace this back to elementary school. You know, they tell you there is no such thing as a stupid question. That's a lie. Anyone who has ever sat in a classroom longer than an hour knows that is a vicious, festering lie. The third time someone asks for a repeat of the rules of a game? Stupid question. Someone asking what time recess is, more than once? Stupid question. They start early. They get worse, the older you get.
So you stop asking questions. Because you don't want to look like the person you make fun of...the person asking the stupid question. Then you become the person who has all the answers. You become the information person...the one who tells people the answers to their questions. And when you don't know the answer? You make one up.
I once told someone that, absolutely, dinosaurs lived at the same time as people. This, despite being about 6 years old and having no idea of any historical support for such a position. Why did I say this? Because I watched The Flintstones. God forbid I just answer, "I don't know."
"I don't know." It is hard to say. It is easier to say, "I'll find that out for you." But that still contains a tacit admission that you don't know what the hell is going on, what the answer might be. In fact, with an answer like that, you might not even really understand what the heck the question is even about.
Now I work in a job where looking like you know what you're doing is not only required, it is demanded. If you don't have that aura of knowledge, you are dead in the water. With a big pool of blood floating around you. To attract the sharks.
I wish I'd taken another road when I was younger. I wish I'd learned to say, "I don't know," more often. I wish I'd been able to allow myself to look at something with wonder and amazement, rather than with dry-eyed cynicism. If I had, I might be somewhere totally different. And be somewhere totally different.
posted by Miss Head at
1:50 PM
3 Comments:
We are paid to come up with answers, and that creates a number of challenges, especially if the client doesn't like the answer offer...but as to making a change, there are ways out...i wasn't too thrilled with my direction, so I made change, and in a couple semesters and a few more thousands of dollars, poof, a new career! never too late
By
Anonymous, at 7:45 AM
I'll do you one better ... I vaguely remember making up words when I was 5-6 years old in order to appear smarter than the other kids. Thank God none of those kids ever asked me to repeat the words because I would forget them as soon as they left my mouth.
Now I get to say "I don't know" all the time because my coworkers are instructed to come to the appellate division for answers. Ha! I get to listen to them, smile, then typically lead them with glazed, confused eyes to a "veteran" appellate attorney more likely to know the answer.
Nice daily shot to the self esteem.
By
Justacogitating, at 8:27 AM
Someone once told me that saying, "I don't know but I can find that out and call you back," was a great way to answer a question. Since I learned that, my life has been much easier!
By
Miss Head, at 1:59 PM
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