Let's Get Physical
Obviously, there are a number of differences between men and women. Physical, emotional, mental, mechanical. While we're technically of the same species, there's no denying that we are, on some very basic level, two completely different animals.
Recently, my friend told me that she'd been walking on the treadmill. She was going about 20 minutes a day. Then a guy she knows told here that she should really walk at least 30. I don't think he really went into the why's and wherefores of the extra ten minutes. Maybe he mentioned that it would keep her heartrate up longer. Anyway, she told him, the next day, that she'd walked for thirty and that she'd cursed his name for the last ten minutes.
Guy: "Well, then, I guess if you want to get a heart attack and die or get all obese and get diabetes, then you should just go ahead and do it. Otherwise, curse away."
Me: "Did he say anything else?"
Her: "I tuned him out after that."
Men and women speak completely different languages when it comes to exercise, fitness, weight and diet. Had she had this conversation with a female, the woman would have said this to my friend: "Well, I heard on Oprah that it takes 20 minutes to get a heartrate up to the point that it really needs to be and, in order to get the benefit of any aerobic activity, we need to exercise more than 20 minutes. I absolutely hate working out, but I ate an entire tube of chocolate chip cookie dough last night so I kinda feel like I oughta exercise an extra few minutes. Oh, and there were those mashed potatoes. And peanut butter and bacon sandwich. Oh, and..."
You see what I mean. Women are more cooperative and empathetic. They put themselves in your place when it comes to dieting. They talk about the struggles they go through and try to teach through example. It is that whole team concept thing we've got going on.
Until there's a man involved. Then it is a pack mentality.
Men, on the other hand, take the Il Duce avenue. They want to dictate to you what you should be doing in order to get a butt like Jennifer Lopez, a body like Jessica Alba, and boobs like Pamela Anderson. You know, besides saving money for that surgery.
"If you just worked in more weights to your routine..."
"You should intersperse periods of walking with running..."
"Make sure that you run up the hill on that one stretch..."
"You aren't doing enough reps to get the benefit..."
"If you eat too much of that chocolate, your teeth will rot out."
Oh, wait, that's my Mom
And they don't see anything wrong with this. Men honestly don't understand why we get upset by this stuff. They don't understand that, even if we ask for their advice about working out, we really don't want to hear it. We don't want to know what'll give us more definition. We don't want to know what foods will add protein without weight. We don't want to know how to...well, any of it. If we want to know, we'll join Curves and ask some woman to help us out.
Granted, there are those women that go to gyms and lift and talk to guys about the sale of whatever diet supplement they have going on over at the Health Hut. Let's face it, they're either out looking for a man to latch onto (and if they're looking for the type of men that hang out in gyms, they're welcome to them) or...well, let's face it. They're lesbians.
Men, you should know this. Most women feel the same way about you telling us how to eat and work out as you feel about pulling over to ask for directions.
I'll keep my trap shut if you'll do the same with yours.
Recently, my friend told me that she'd been walking on the treadmill. She was going about 20 minutes a day. Then a guy she knows told here that she should really walk at least 30. I don't think he really went into the why's and wherefores of the extra ten minutes. Maybe he mentioned that it would keep her heartrate up longer. Anyway, she told him, the next day, that she'd walked for thirty and that she'd cursed his name for the last ten minutes.
Guy: "Well, then, I guess if you want to get a heart attack and die or get all obese and get diabetes, then you should just go ahead and do it. Otherwise, curse away."
Me: "Did he say anything else?"
Her: "I tuned him out after that."
Men and women speak completely different languages when it comes to exercise, fitness, weight and diet. Had she had this conversation with a female, the woman would have said this to my friend: "Well, I heard on Oprah that it takes 20 minutes to get a heartrate up to the point that it really needs to be and, in order to get the benefit of any aerobic activity, we need to exercise more than 20 minutes. I absolutely hate working out, but I ate an entire tube of chocolate chip cookie dough last night so I kinda feel like I oughta exercise an extra few minutes. Oh, and there were those mashed potatoes. And peanut butter and bacon sandwich. Oh, and..."
You see what I mean. Women are more cooperative and empathetic. They put themselves in your place when it comes to dieting. They talk about the struggles they go through and try to teach through example. It is that whole team concept thing we've got going on.
Until there's a man involved. Then it is a pack mentality.
Men, on the other hand, take the Il Duce avenue. They want to dictate to you what you should be doing in order to get a butt like Jennifer Lopez, a body like Jessica Alba, and boobs like Pamela Anderson. You know, besides saving money for that surgery.
"If you just worked in more weights to your routine..."
"You should intersperse periods of walking with running..."
"Make sure that you run up the hill on that one stretch..."
"You aren't doing enough reps to get the benefit..."
"If you eat too much of that chocolate, your teeth will rot out."
Oh, wait, that's my Mom
And they don't see anything wrong with this. Men honestly don't understand why we get upset by this stuff. They don't understand that, even if we ask for their advice about working out, we really don't want to hear it. We don't want to know what'll give us more definition. We don't want to know what foods will add protein without weight. We don't want to know how to...well, any of it. If we want to know, we'll join Curves and ask some woman to help us out.
Granted, there are those women that go to gyms and lift and talk to guys about the sale of whatever diet supplement they have going on over at the Health Hut. Let's face it, they're either out looking for a man to latch onto (and if they're looking for the type of men that hang out in gyms, they're welcome to them) or...well, let's face it. They're lesbians.
Men, you should know this. Most women feel the same way about you telling us how to eat and work out as you feel about pulling over to ask for directions.
I'll keep my trap shut if you'll do the same with yours.
posted by Miss Head at
9:49 AM
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