Ten Things I Hate About You
As I was driving back from picking up lunch today, I was stuck waiting for a left turn. A man with a Christian school's bumper sticker who had stopped in front of me opened his car door, leaned out, and spit. He was probably about 60-65. I almost got out of the car and started yelling at him. So, in honor of that little slice of life, a list of things I hate:
People spitting on the ground. They make handkerchiefs and kleenex for a reason, folks.
Expensive razor blades. They know you won't buy a razor that has blades that cost $9.00 for three, so they send you the razor free. Bastards.
Listening to my secretary take personal calls when I'm waiting for her to finish something for me.
White cat hair.
Fighting over the air conditioning in my office.
Wasps.
Men, or boys, who wear baseball hats while eating. Breakfast, okay. Bar food, okay. Date? Absolutely not.
Chipped nail polish.
The way my nose gets chapped in the spring because not every stocks Puffs with lotion. Now I'm stuck smearing lotion on my nose, thereby experiencing breakouts and dry skin simultaneously.
People who don't return my calls after I've called twice. Once? Forgiveable. Twice, not so much.
Nancy Grace. Enough said.
People who cannot drive with the flow of traffic.
Parking tickets.
Local cable access channels. You are using up the space I could be watching SciFi on.
People who call at five minutes to 5:00 p.m.
Having to work for a living.
Political advertising.
Divots.
People spitting on the ground. They make handkerchiefs and kleenex for a reason, folks.
Expensive razor blades. They know you won't buy a razor that has blades that cost $9.00 for three, so they send you the razor free. Bastards.
Listening to my secretary take personal calls when I'm waiting for her to finish something for me.
White cat hair.
Fighting over the air conditioning in my office.
Wasps.
Men, or boys, who wear baseball hats while eating. Breakfast, okay. Bar food, okay. Date? Absolutely not.
Chipped nail polish.
The way my nose gets chapped in the spring because not every stocks Puffs with lotion. Now I'm stuck smearing lotion on my nose, thereby experiencing breakouts and dry skin simultaneously.
People who don't return my calls after I've called twice. Once? Forgiveable. Twice, not so much.
Nancy Grace. Enough said.
People who cannot drive with the flow of traffic.
Parking tickets.
Local cable access channels. You are using up the space I could be watching SciFi on.
People who call at five minutes to 5:00 p.m.
Having to work for a living.
Political advertising.
Divots.
posted by Miss Head at
9:19 AM
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