Picnic

I went to the park the other day for lunch.

I was bored, didn't want to be in my office and was in the mood for a drive. So I got in the car with some takeout from our building's cafe and drove down to a park I'd driven by on a couple of occasions. Not a big park. Just a little roadside turnoff. I thought maybe they'd have a picnic area...a couple of picnic tables under a gazebo or something. A little area of shade where I could sit and think me thinks and get away from everyone for a while.

No. Such. Luck.

I pull in the parking lot and look around. No picnic tables. Okay. I suppose I can just sit here with my door open, soaking in some rays, eating my food, taking my time, communing with nature. Just a couple of minutes to have alone.

Yeah, not so much.

The parking lot was kinda full. There was a delivery truck there from the local coffee place. I can see that. The delivery guy wants to just sit there, have a few minutes alone to eat his lunch and not have to deal with people complaining about the quality of the filters he delivers, or how someone got too much decaf rather than the fully leaded. I'm fully up on taking a mental break from the service industry.

But then? There are...all these other cars. Other single guys sitting in cars. They all have their windows open. No one is saying anything. No one is getting out of their car. No one is eating anything. It is as still as a grave.

I park on the opposite end from everyone else, near the exit, so I can sit and watch in peace. They're all just...just sitting there in their cars. Out of about seven or eight cars, only two are unoccupied. What the hell is going on?

I can cut some slack for the coffee guy, who ended up pulling out of the lot ofter about ten minutes. But then there's this guy in a minivan with dealer plates. He leaves after a while, then comes back ten minutes later. And just sits there.

The other thing? They're all parked facing outward. Like they're going to need to make a quick break for it at some point.

That's when I realized. I had parked at the local gay cruising spot!

Every town has them. We have a big park here in town where everyone goes. My friend used to work vice there, walking around in little short-shorts with a t-shirt tied up around his midriff. He arrested all kinds of guys: teachers, bankers, factory workers. It takes all kinds, don't you know. But I'd never heard anything about this place being a spot to pick people up.

And...it wasn't like there were young guys cruising around, looking to score. Maybe they were hiding in the woods because I was sitting there. No. It was just old guys with beards and family vehicles, sitting there with their windows open. I don't know if they were waiting for someone to walk by. Or if they were building up their courage to talk to one another. Or if they were just waiting for me to leave.

I eventually got creeped out enough to leave.

I've certainly hung out with enough gay men in my lifetime not to have a problem with the thought of two men together. I've gone to gay bars, concerts with lesbians, and actually watched gay porn once as part of a human sexuality class in college.

But the thought of these random aging Midwestern married men sitting around in their cars on their lunch hours, hoping that some guy would happen along who would deign to give them a blow job? That seemed more obscene to me than any Playboy or Penthouse ever has.