Chick Flick
In movies, or in that particular sub-catagory of movie known as the "chick flick," there are certain pre-established moments that must occur:
1. Girl is single/dating a loser/gets dumped/getting married when financee dies.
2. Girl goes through brief period of soul-searching.
3. Girl sees Guy across a crowded room (Guy is usually dark-haired, in order to show his serious and sensitive nature, unless Ryan Phillipe is available. Also, Guy is usually some kind of scamp/bad boy type, while girl is career-driven and goal-oriented).
4. Guy and Girl, although complete opposites, find themselves thrown together in order to get out a story/put together a work project/get one of their mutual friends out of trouble/travel across country/get through the fiancee's funeral.
5. During all the thrown-together time, Guy and Girl fall for each other, despite the fact that Guy is a love-em-and-leave-em type and Girl is fully aware of this.
6. Guy and Girl have amazing sex.
7. Guy and Girl are torn apart when he overhears her badmouthing him/her ex-boyfriend shows up/he leaves right after having sex without a word to her/they find out they've been lying to each other about the work project/his ex-girlfriend shows up/his wife shows up.
8. Girl takes job in another city/Guy leaves town.
At this point, we all know the formula. Guy or Girl must either apologize for their wrongdoing that led to the falling out or the other party has to overcome the betrayal. Whoever comes to the great ephiphany then has to chase after the other person, thereby leading to the great last scene, frequently filmed outside on a bridge or other large, impressive structure, where they kiss and make up and live happily ever after.
In real life, would this ever happen?
If I broke up with some dude because I came to his apartment one morning with breakfast and his ex opened the door in a negligee in one of those wacky, "oh, she was just sleeping on the couch" moments, would I be charmed when he chased me down the street with a bunch of balloons declaring his undying love for me? Would I be won over when he sat outside of my house all night in a snowstorm, freezing to death in his car?
And if a guy I liked found out I'd been lying to him about the reason I'd been hanging out with him, that I was only with him because I needed to get information on some investigative piece I was writing for the local paper, and left me high and dry just when I realized I loved him? If I started showing up at his gym with flowers, do you think that would change his mind. If I moved into his apartment building, across the hall, would that convince him that I loved him?
No. That would be stalking. And possibly against the law.
So what is there to do? When time and distance separates you from someone that you think, deep down inside, could be the one? Or a possible one, anyway.
Do you drive eight, ten, fourteen hours in order to sit on their fashionable brick front door stoop in an appropriately fashionable yet casual ensemble, with jeans that make your legs look thin and your ass small, until they come home to find you there with a bag of groceries and a bottle of wine?
Which really won't happen, because you'll end up with a flat tire on the way, which will lead to the ruin of your new sweater and the subsequent purchase of a twelve-pack of beer so that, by the time he gets home, you'll be passed out in the backseat with jerky wrappers and empty bottles scattered around your grease-stained body.
Or do you let the opportunity pass you by? Sit at home, thinking about what might have been? Watching yet another chick flick and thinking "Does that ever really work?"
1. Girl is single/dating a loser/gets dumped/getting married when financee dies.
2. Girl goes through brief period of soul-searching.
3. Girl sees Guy across a crowded room (Guy is usually dark-haired, in order to show his serious and sensitive nature, unless Ryan Phillipe is available. Also, Guy is usually some kind of scamp/bad boy type, while girl is career-driven and goal-oriented).
4. Guy and Girl, although complete opposites, find themselves thrown together in order to get out a story/put together a work project/get one of their mutual friends out of trouble/travel across country/get through the fiancee's funeral.
5. During all the thrown-together time, Guy and Girl fall for each other, despite the fact that Guy is a love-em-and-leave-em type and Girl is fully aware of this.
6. Guy and Girl have amazing sex.
7. Guy and Girl are torn apart when he overhears her badmouthing him/her ex-boyfriend shows up/he leaves right after having sex without a word to her/they find out they've been lying to each other about the work project/his ex-girlfriend shows up/his wife shows up.
8. Girl takes job in another city/Guy leaves town.
At this point, we all know the formula. Guy or Girl must either apologize for their wrongdoing that led to the falling out or the other party has to overcome the betrayal. Whoever comes to the great ephiphany then has to chase after the other person, thereby leading to the great last scene, frequently filmed outside on a bridge or other large, impressive structure, where they kiss and make up and live happily ever after.
In real life, would this ever happen?
If I broke up with some dude because I came to his apartment one morning with breakfast and his ex opened the door in a negligee in one of those wacky, "oh, she was just sleeping on the couch" moments, would I be charmed when he chased me down the street with a bunch of balloons declaring his undying love for me? Would I be won over when he sat outside of my house all night in a snowstorm, freezing to death in his car?
And if a guy I liked found out I'd been lying to him about the reason I'd been hanging out with him, that I was only with him because I needed to get information on some investigative piece I was writing for the local paper, and left me high and dry just when I realized I loved him? If I started showing up at his gym with flowers, do you think that would change his mind. If I moved into his apartment building, across the hall, would that convince him that I loved him?
No. That would be stalking. And possibly against the law.
So what is there to do? When time and distance separates you from someone that you think, deep down inside, could be the one? Or a possible one, anyway.
Do you drive eight, ten, fourteen hours in order to sit on their fashionable brick front door stoop in an appropriately fashionable yet casual ensemble, with jeans that make your legs look thin and your ass small, until they come home to find you there with a bag of groceries and a bottle of wine?
Which really won't happen, because you'll end up with a flat tire on the way, which will lead to the ruin of your new sweater and the subsequent purchase of a twelve-pack of beer so that, by the time he gets home, you'll be passed out in the backseat with jerky wrappers and empty bottles scattered around your grease-stained body.
Or do you let the opportunity pass you by? Sit at home, thinking about what might have been? Watching yet another chick flick and thinking "Does that ever really work?"
posted by Miss Head at
4:53 AM
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